Friday, October 15, 2010

The art of criticism

The anguish in his face looks as raw as it should have felt what always bothers him as he allows the harsh criticizing words he almost daily hears to bob to the surface briefly, before pushing them back down. He attempts to keep what annoyed him and break it by jokes, after listening to his complaints and grumbling in his usual funny tone we both burst laughing.

This is my brother, who utterly got resented when my mother calls him whenever he stays out late.

He says her discourteous way of criticizing him after answering her calls makes him as a joke in front of his peers; and the hilarious thing is he told me they all are treated exactly the same by their mothers and getting phone calls is like hell.

Not only that but his next session is waiting for him immediately when he gets back home so that she criticizes his irresponsibility toward himself and his frivolity etc...

The matter is he does not understand why she usually does that and on the opposite side she does not have a clue that she is criticizing not advising him. I’ve tried repeatedly to explain to them both. But I talked, to no avail.

However criticizing is an art that we must be aware of. And it has good and bad impact which depends on the accent during talking. There is a good way that we can criticize our beloveds and people around us that turn the disapproval to constructive criticism and then positive outcomes appear.

Of course, people do not accept any criticism when they take it personally or even when they got criticized in public or around people even close ones.

I refuse criticizing when I found it worthless. I’ve always found it somehow too complicated for me to refuse my parents criticism. It’s hard to change their solid grasps of thoughts and it's so hard to use the word "no" when they speak. Although somehow I believe that criticizing profoundly benefits us and any clue is subject to change with fruitful outcomes.

However what I'm attempting to reach is how to handle criticism! How could you accept criticism by close ones like parents? When you put the limits of criticism so you cease any criticizer? When you start criticizing and when you just cease it? And what kind of criticism benefits you profoundly in life if there is any superb impact?

5 التعليقات:

Hijabis On Ranting Tour. said...

haha its best not to argue with parents they always want your best, but different generations just seem to have difficulty understanding eachother, i am loving your blog and read through some of your posts :)
salaamz from a new reader
naz
@somalianarab.blogspot.com

Rationality said...

Hello dear;
Indeed that is what I figured out lately but sometimes they compel us to talk and even after debating we can't get each other!
Thanks dear glad you liked my blog:)
I've tried to enter the link you dropped but don’t know why it keeps getting aborted!
Welcome to my blog, by the way:)

Falling Up said...

It's difficult when the parents are the ones criticizing. They did so much for us and to snap back at them is definitely a no-no because they put their whole life aside just for you. But I guess to talk with them softly and seriously and sort out any ish would be better, especially if your still living with them. And if they still dont get you, then IDK, patience, I guess.

Rationality said...

Falling Up, you're absolutely right. I agree that we have to appreciate our parents' unlimited sacrifices undoubtedly but somehow it annoys when someone tries to control my targets and my needs even if there is a strong bond between us.
However the thing that we have to understand is there are always LIMITS and EXCEPTIONS that we can't surpass ever and parents are involved in those conditions so MOSTLY whatever they say we have to keep nodding saying yes regardless of our disagreement.
We learn from others mistakes yes; but having our experience in life is something irresistible.
A pleasure to read you dear:)

Mrs. Cullen said...

sigh.

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